If you’ve been hanging onto any tacky drink umbrellas, this is the time to bust them out. Stow what’s left of the orange juice in the fridge until after he goes to bed, and then pull down the (admittedly dusty) Triple Sec and tequila, and see if you can dig up some passable limes from the fridge. “What that, mommy?” he might ask as he sleepily wanders in from his rare (but wildly applauded) nap and you’ll explain that you’re making orange juice from special red oranges and you’ll realize by the look on his face that your child - you, a person that turns flour into bread, potatoes into pasta, sugar into caramel - hadn’t realized that orange juice didn’t come in a carton and to fend off the feelings of failure, put him to work and pour him a glass of something he found so outstandingly delicious, you all but forgot about that Pity Party you were planning. Things might get awkward, however, if you have a three year-old. You may not have fresh coconuts overhead and sweet mango and papaya slices on your breakfast plate, but if we hurry, we can grab onto the tail end of blood orange season and squeeze it into something better. You may not be in the tropics, but glass-for-glass, we can fake it. Is everyone on vacation without you? Are your social media feeds one big blur of the freckled faces of people you once thought you loved basking in the Caribbean sun, showing unintentional contempt for you, back here, shivering and damp? Do your so-called friends in warmer climes gush about pea tendrils and new artichokes while your local market has shriveled roots that last saw the unfrozen earth in October? Of last year? Maybe, just this one time, an exception should be made and a tidy, brief pity party would be acceptable.
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